2 thoughts..

1st, the babies!

Today, a girl from a community I belong to, lost one of her twins at birth. She went into labour at 31 weeks. Today I am reminded how incredibly fortunate I am to have these wondeful healthy babies with me, ALL 3 of them. Theres days when I want to pull my hair out, and days when I feel like I might throw myself through a window – but today despite 4 hrs of sleep last night – I am thankful. I dont know what made me able to have 3 babies as big and healthy as I had, I dont know who was watching over my pregnancy, I dont understand how we made it so far into the pregnancy, I dont know how I have 4 beautiful smart healthy children, but I do know that I am FOREVER thankful. Beyond thankful. The other day Keith and I were talking about having another child, not that we want to .. we were just talking what ifs.. (sometimes I’m crazy and I thinkI want another one)..and he said – we were soooo lucky to have 4 perfect healthy kids, why jinx that with a 5th, be happy we have what we have. And I think he hit the nail on the head 🙂 I love allll of my babies and my big baby too ( Brad!)

2nd thought – If you follow my “weight loss” tab up there you’ll see I’m making some good progress in getting my body back in order! But someone said something to me the other day (I hope you dont mind me posting it!) that made me realize something. She said “I’m sorry if I dont notice your weight loss, it’s hard because we see each other weekly”… I wasn’t at all ofended I wouldn’t expect 12lbs to be noticable to really anyone – but I did realize something. I’m not doing this for other people. I’m not doing it to be “eye candy”, I’m not doing it so I can flaunt on a beach somewhere, I’m doing this for me. And wether someone see me as the way I am now or how I’ll be in September it really doesn’t matter. I’m doing this for health reasons. Im doing it for my kids. You never see a fat old person. It’s true. And I want to be old, I want to be old and hold my grandchildren, and I want to be able to play soccer with my grandchildren…. I’m really doing this not for me, not for them, but for my kids – and what an incredibly powerful motiviation that is.

🙂

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