What they dont tell you…

I stole this from my triplet forum I belong to – it makes me laugh and it’s so very very VERY true..

For those of you that joined this group while pregnant or at early stages after birth, you all probably found this site extremely helpful as we have.

However, once our triplets hit approximately 6 months old, we’ve started questioning things. Questioning the agenda. Questioning the Truth. At this point, things just weren’t adding up. Things didn’t seem right. Now, ours are 9 months… and we’ve discovered the hidden truth that other triplet parents never shared with us “newby” parents…

The “experienced” triplet parents hide the truth from us newbies by responding to our questions/concerns with comments like:

-“Oh, it gets better. Hang in there.”

-“Don’t worry, our triplets did the same thing at that age. It’s completely normal.”

-“You can vent anytime. That’s what we’re all here for.”

-“It’s just a stage. It will pass.”

-“Don’t worry, a tummy-tuck will fix it all.”

-“Try a teething ring. That worked great for us.”

-“That’s just their way of showing you that they love you.”

-“Consider yourself three times the fortunate one.”

Well, fellow newbies… I’m starting to think THEY’RE ALL LYING!!! They say those things to us to pull us deeper into their agenda. That agenda being to control the world with all these insane triplets. Mine are INSANE! Mine are CRAZY! Run, run for your lives! It’s never going to get better! I just know it!

How do I know this? Because I discovered the truth.

While I was combing the 4 or 5 hairs on one of our triplets heads, I discovered something rough and scratchy on his top, right side. Confused, I moved the 2 strands of hair out of the way and what did I see? I saw the beginning stage of a HORN forming! A real, live HORN! The kid had them on both sides of his head. Shocked as I was, I turned him over, pulled his diapers down… and right there in plain view, just above his butt crack, I found a small tail forming with a triangle at the tip of it. For cryin out load,… the kid is a Devil! I knew it. I just knew it. I knew something was wrong.

Everything started to make sense now. It was all clear to me. I wasn’t going insane. I wasn’t crazy. It WAS the kids. It was them all along.

I quickly inspected the other two and sure enough, they too had the same things happening. They too were now growing into their true selves. They’re all DEVILS! All three of them. It all made sense. For a brief second, I was happy. Happy that I wasn’t insane. My mind was clear as could be now.

-All the things they destroyed around the house. Devils.

-All the food they spit out at me. Devils.

-All the high pitch screams. Devils. They were communicating with eachother. They were planning their take-over.

-All the poop that got smeared on the changing table and floor because they went crazy when I tried changing their diapers. Devils.

-All the sleepless nights. All the times they NEVER napped. All the times it took us 2 hours to put them down at night. Devils.

-All the major, in sync tantrums while trying to put them in their car seats. Devils.

-All the major, in sync tantrums while in their high chairs waiting for us as we prepped their food. Devils. After all, we can only move so fast!

-All the major tantrums as we tried to rub orojel on their gums. Devils. If they would just relax for a second so we could rub it on the gums. Common sense, right? Not if you’re a Devil trying to take over the world with your fellow triplets.

Fellow newbies, be aware. Be aware at the responses you get from “The Experienced Ones.” They are with them. They are the puppets of the triplets. They have been taught to “drag us along.” They have been taught to tell us, “It gets better. Hang in there.”

It doesn’t. They want us to hang in there long enough to get them to toddler stage. Once there, they leave us and join the force of triplets where they are plotting a take-over. I just know it.

Pray. Pray. And Pray some more. That is our only hope.

Oh crap… I have to leave. I hear them coming…

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Comments
3 Responses to “What they dont tell you…”
  1. Angela Tew says:

    I loved this post and sometimes it rings so true đŸ˜€

  2. Cassandra (supermom) says:

    Your posts are always so comical … LOVE your writing style.

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