I’m getting scared

Have you ever gone for a blood test? Have you ever had to wait extra long because there’s a stupid girl / guy who is just being such a baby and it takes FOREVER to get them to calm down to get a needle?…I’m that girl.

So the idea of having a C-Section scares the crap out of me. I’m really. Really. REALLY scared. And I can’t complain to Keith about it – because he has this “Suck it up princess” attitude about it. So I figured maybe if I got everything out on paper (or monitor in this case?) I’ll feel somewhat better so here it goes:

– I’m afraid I’ll die

-I’m affraid I’ll never see Brad again

-I’m afraid the epidural is going to leave me paralized

-I’m afraid of having a repeat C-Section and the scaring being very bad and hard to cut through

-I’m afraid that since one baby is practically under my rib that the delivering OB’s ARM wont be able to reach up that high

-I’m afraid of being alone in the recovery room worried about my triplets

-I’m worried that there will be something wrong with the babes

-I’m worried that my IV will fall out (again) and I wont get enough fluids/meds

-I’m afraid that I’ll have to get a blood transfusion or hysterectomy

-I’m not liking the ideas of having staples in my belly and Im hoping there’s an alternative

-I shake like mad when Im nervous ( like REALLY nervous) and I hate that feeling and I dont want to feel it

Bah – so there it is…I dont know if these are all common worries, and they dont keep me up at night – but I just wish I didn’t KNOW I was having a C-Section.With Brad it was sort of a blessing that it was an emergency, I didn’t even get a split second to think/register what was going on…this is going to be like “ok I’m driving myself to the hospital and I might die”….Thats what’ll be going through my insane over thinking , over reacting brain anyways.

 

BESIDES the anxiety things are going better with me. The urinary track infection has left the vagina! YAY!…..I now pee like a normal person 🙂

My blood pressure feels like it’s been dipping a slight bit too low for comfort, getting really light headed to the point of almost passing out a few times so Im definatly going to mention this.

I’m almost at my biggest milestone 24 WEEKS!…At this point the babes have a quite reasonable chance of survival, it’s not optimal and there are many health concerns for this week – but it’s a BIG big milestone and I’m anxious to jump over and keep on going. A few weeks back there was no way I thought I wanted to go beyond 32 weeks….But I’m keen now – I’m feeling like a record breaker, I want these babes at 36 weeks, we’ll see how that goes 😛

The idea of having girls is really warming up to me too – at first, honestly I was like rugh, girls GREAT – but Im really really starting to get excited – I just can’t wait to meet them now!

Next ultrasound is on Aug 5th ( next Wednesday) cant wait to see them again!

Tonights agenda: Off for another pedicure – and Keith can’t complain I can’t reach my toes 🙂

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: